Dear Diary
by Fierce Kitten
Summary: Luna's note to everyone who will read, before she goes off to help destroy the Horcuxes. It's a log of her days at hogwarts. She discribes when and what happened. And she discribes her feelings for a certain green eyed boy....


Disclaimer: I, Fierce Kitten, do not own Harry Potter. I will, on the other hand, be dressed up as Luna for the opening of Harry Potter and the Deathly Hollows. All Potter rights go to Jo K. Rolling.

Dear Diary

I was lost.

No, not completely lost. I could see what was going on. I could hear what people say. I knew people thought I was... loony. But, it didn▓t matter. I didn▓t care. I wasn▓t healed. I didn▓t care what they said. I was hurt too much.

When my mother died, she died horribly. I know. I was there. On my first day of Hogwarts, I felt safe. I was taken by the trustworthy giant, Hagrid, by boat, up to the grate castle that was to be my home. I was exited. I knew, for a fact, that the, Harry Potter, would be there. He would be a year ahead of me, but I didn▓t care. I felt safe with the legend there. Or, I did.

When the attacks started, I no longer felt safe. They even said that the glorious Harry Potter was responsible. He defeated Voldamort. How bad could he be? I was never scared to say the Dark Lord▓s name. Nor was Harry. I wanted to ask if it was true. But I didn▓t. If I did, and it was, he would surly kill me. But I didn▓t believe he would. I only held back because I didn▓t want to cause Daddy more pain. I would bend over my head in the halls when I passed him, I didn▓t want him to see me staring. I would look into his face for a sense of trustworthiness. I got it. He always looked like... well... like me. Alone and scared, but moving on. It gave me hope.

I was never was attacked, I am happy to say, but I studied the situation. I couldn▓t believe Harry was a monster. I had to know. I took into account everything. They said that he spoke Parsltong. That sounded really incriminating, but I wouldn▓t give in. I took s look at WHO was getting petrified. First, it was that Hufflepuff boy. They said it was because Harry knew he was muggle born, but I couldn▓t believe that. No way was my role model a killer. Next was that other boy, who was he? I forget, but he and the ghost Nearly Headless Nick were petrified at the same time. That gave everyone a good fright. The killer could petrify ghosts. No one seemed to realize that Nick was the Griffendoor ghost. Why would Harry attack his house ghost? It didn▓t make since to me. Some other people got petrified and, of course, Harry was blamed. It was in that year that people started calling me ▒Loony▓ Lovegood. I wouldn▓t give up on Harry, or on what my dad wrote about, so I would defend them. I didn▓t care what they said about me, I wouldn▓t give into the pressure. No one believed me that Harry was innocent. No, his best friend, Hermione Granger, had to get petrified. At first, all that was heard was that Hermione was muggle born. But an ▒anonymous▓ hero(ine) mentioned that Harry couldn▓t have done it, or he would have done-her-in a long time ago. Suddenly, everyone was apologizing.

My father always sent letters, asking if everything was all right, and if I was dead or not. I always wrote back the same thing: ⌠No, nothing is completely all right, but I wouldn▓t want to be anywhere else. I▓m not dead. If I was I couldn▓t mail you. How▓s the news paper going? Well, ▒till next time! Your little bumblebee, Luna.■

He stopped sending as many letters after Harry destroyed Voldamort▓s memory. I did notice that Ginny Wesley was acting a bit odd. Well, instead of getting twenty letters a day, I got one a morning. My dad believed stuff like that. Some parents didn▓t believe Dumbledore! How weird is that?

Well, once I had nothing to defend and nothing to worry about, the pain of my mother would come back. Sometimes in the morning, sometimes at night, and sometimes not at all. I was all too happy to return home to my cubby by the wastepaper basket in my room. It was a small cubby whole. You would open a tinny door and crawl though a little tunnel about the length of your wingspan that made a turn somewhere in the middle, then it came to an clearing, a small clearing but a clearing nonetheless, you could then find the switch and click on the light. It was a place to myself where I thought about stuff. I had a small rug stuffed in there and the teddy bear my mom had given me for my birthday. Its ear was torn and its mouth seam was coming undone, but I wouldn▓t dare fix it. I spent the summer battling my inner demons there. I was sick to my stomach. I couldn▓t get over my mother▓s death. My father wanted to take me to a therapist. I said no. I would not submit myself to that. But sometimes, I wondered weather I made the right choice.

I couldn▓t heal. Nobody was my friend. Nobody cared. That was, not until next year. In my second year of Hogwarts, I made a friend. I didn▓t expect to befriend her. But I▓m glad I did.

In my second year at Hogwarts, I met a girl on the train. Her name was Ginny Wesley. We shared a compartment together. We got talking about that Sirius Black fellow, how he escaped from Azkaban and all. I had reason to believe he was innocent of being a Death Eater, why would he kill James Potter? Of course, I was still afraid. He DID, on the other hand, murder Peter Pettigrew. He was a killer, and he was on the loose. Anyway, we got to talking, and Ginny became my first friend, and, as her as my friend, I could finally heal. 

When Sirius Black started getting spotted closer and closer to Hogwarts, people stated to panic. Would Black come to Hogwarts? Who was he after? The logical analogy most people came to was... Potter. Harry Potter was the Potter▓s son, and the one thing standing in-between Voldamort and true power. People thought the Black was after Harry because he was still loyal to the Dark Lord. But, like I said, I didn▓t believe he really turned in the Potters. I wanted to make my views known, but I knew no one wanted to hear them.

I still refrained from talking to Harry. I had no reason to. A second-year Ravenclaw just suddenly getting the urge to talk to a third-year Griffendoor? That didn▓t make a load of sense. I heard loads more about him from Ginny though. He spent the summer with her family last year. I heard some pretty funny stories. Harry Potter, the Boy Who Lived, seemed to be a normal teenager.

When Sirius Black arrived at Hogwarts and somehow snuck in, people freaked out even more. My roommate couldn▓t go to bed without doing a full room check. She looked for Sirius Black in the weirdest places, too. She once looked in the cookie jar.

Later, after Sirius Black was caught, Ginny informed me that Black was innocent. That her brother Ron, who was best friends with Harry Potter, had seen him and that he said that it was Pettigrew that turned in the Potters. I was right. She also told me that Black was Harry▓s godfather. I was jumping up and cheering when Black escaped.

Why I was so interested in Harry Potter, you may be wondering. Well, Harry, from what I heard, is much like me. He lost him parents as a baby. I lost my mom. People clamed that Potter was a killer last year. People thought I was insane last year. Actually, they still do. I found so many similarities between me and Harry, I wanted the best of luck to him. If he made it in the world, I could too!

When I left Hogwarts, I was better than I could have ever hoped. I didn▓t spend day after day in my cubby. I was out into the world. I played tennis with my father. I jumped rope. I felt closer to everything. I was happy.

My dad took me to the Quidage World Cup. It was a family outing. Ginny and her family, and that Hermione Granger, and Harry Potter were going. I hoped to see them, but out seats where so far apart. My plan was to meet up with Ginny, by visiting her tent, but that plan went down the toilet when the Death Eaters attacked. I was even separated from Daddy.

I had left the tent to find hers, and then I saw a glimpse of fire in the corner of my eye. People stated swarming out of their tents, all running in the opposite direction. Some woman scooped me up off the ground. Later she told me it was because I would have been trampled any second. It was kind of nice though. My mother used to do that all the time. After the woman put me down in the forest I ran for my own life. Actually, I ran into Ginny, Fred, and Gorge. Fred and Gorge, those clowns! I really miss them around Hogwarts. They made life fun. Anyhow, I asked Ginny if she▓s seen my dad. She pointed me in the right direction. I was reunited with my father. He was kind of a mess. All freaked out.

A month or so later, I was back at Hogwarts. The Tiwizard Tournament took place at Hogwarts in my third year. They should have changed the name to ⌠Quadwizard Tournament■. Harry Potter (yes, him again, get used to it) was the fourth. He didn▓t mean to be; he didn▓t even sign up. But, Harry Potter was always finding himself in trouble. Actually, I don▓t doubt his going to get into more trouble. I wanted to wish him good luck, but he seemed so busy.

The first task was with the dragons. That Horntail was a real nasty piece of work. Krum did okay. Wasn▓t very interesting. I forget what exactly that Flur Delecur did. I know she married that Bill Wesley fellow. She▓s a real pretty girl. Cedric Digery was hansom as well. He was a bit of a pretty boy. Harry▓s show was much more entertaining. Flying! It was rather scary, too. He could have been hit by one of those nasty looking horns. Anyway, he passed with flying colors. (get it? FLYING colors? You don▓t get it)

The second task was to save your person from the lake. I sort of wanted to see the giant squid. Flur didn▓t even make it. She had to be helped out. Harry, on the other hand, was a gentleman and a hero. People thought he was being stupid to take it seriously, but I knew better. Crouch picked those students on purpose hoping their people wouldn▓t get there on time! But Harry knew it too, obviously! He saved that Ron Wesley AND Marietta. HE saved everyone from utter destruction! I think it was harsh of Hermione for saying he had a ▒Saving People Thing▓.

The last challenge changed my view on Hogwarts for life. So far, no one had died, ever! But, at the end of the maze challenge... Cedric Diggory came back from the port key dead and Harry was the most upset I had ever seen him. I swear, his face was sowed how distraught he was. He looked quite on edge. The wrong word could have sent him of the edge. (such as, ▒it▓s his fault!▓) I wasn▓t surprised at all by the fact that he let Professor Moody(not really, death eater in reality) take him away, willingly. If someone shoved him on the ground, he wouldn▓t have cared. I could tell something was wrong though. I informed Professor Magonigal that Moddy was taking Harry away.

The death eater was caught and we were sent back home. Too soon, in my opinion. Lots of people were just sent home un-healed. That Cho Chang was devastated. And Harry... Harry just saw someone die, right in front of him! I was sent home and my father swept me up into his arms. That year, for my new year▓s resolution, I decided I WOULD talk to Harry. He needed it, and honestly, I needed it too. I was even more determined when they started calling Harry a nut-case.

It▓s my fourth year of Hogwarts, and I▓m ready for anything! I wasn▓t expecting for Ginny to introduce me to Harry on the train. I▓ve got to say, I was nervous. She called me ▒Loony Lovegood▓ to make things worse. And the Longbottom fellow didn▓t like me all that much either.

I liked talking to Harry. His friend, Ronald Wesley, said a funny joke and I laughed. I laughed a little harder and longer because of my nerves. Well, of course, our new defense against the dark arts teacher was that horrible Umbrige woman. Ginny told me that she made Harry rip open the back of his hand. She was the enemy. I believed Harry that Voldamort was back(and rightly so!). I joined the DA as soon as I heard of it! And I really liked being with Harry. I once caught him under the mistletoe... he pulled out from under it as soon as I mentioned it, though. He did forget to take that down. That was the day when IT happened. Cho Chang decided Harry would be a grate boyfriend. He would, but... not with Cho. So, they start going out. The term ⌠Those who wait get their reward■ had NO meaning, WHAT-SO-EVER right then!

Over the time span of that year, Harry became my best friend. I know, I said Ginny was... but that▓s what went wrong. Ginny seemed to have moved on. She started going out with boys and they seemed so much more interesting than little old Loony Lovegood. To tell you the truth, it hurt. I gained two more friends(Harry and Neville), but I think I lost one, too.

Later that year, the DA was caught... okay we(me, harry, ginny, neville, hermione, ron) we caught. And guess who turned us in? That evil Cho Change! (okay, fine, cho didn▓t turn us in. But her friend did!) Well, we escaped Evil Umbruge▓s clutches, and we went to go save Harry▓s god father at the ministry(all of us, against harry▓s will). I think the only two people who didn▓t get too terribly (fiscally) hurt was me and Harry. Apparently, Sirius Black wasn▓t in trouble and it was a trap. Well, he wasn▓t in trouble... until we got there. Sirius came to our rescue (along with other OotP people) and he died in the end.

Harry was, once again, devastated. He lost his first girlfriend and now he▓s lost his godfather. (oh, yeah, he and cho broke up) According to Herminie he didn▓t want to talk to anyone. All though, on the last day of Hogwarts, me and Harry bumped into one another in the halls. I think I cheered him up a bit.

Next year was my fifth. What a night mare! Exams! Exams! Exams! I was so busy; I couldn▓t talk to my new best friend that often. During the Quitage match, when Gryffindor wasn▓t doing too good, I directed the clouds attention to the clouds. I hope Harry appreciated it. I talked to Herminie quite a lot though. She was so upset. Did anyone but me notice she liked that Ron Wesley? I comforted her a lot.

The one person I though I might be able to talk to after every class... I wouldn▓t talk to for half the year: Ginny. She became Harry▓s new girlfriend. It felt like a cold knife was stabbed into my back and though my heart. She betrayed me! I felt like crying for the rest of the year. My so-called friend kissed my crush. She knew I liked him! And wasn▓t she dating some other boy? Apparently not.

At the end of the year, I got the call to protect the castle on Harry▓s orders. Herminie distributed the lucky potion equally between everyone who showed up. Witch wasn▓t many people. Ginny was there (of course). When Harry rejoined the fight he seemed so determined and masculine. I found out later, that Snape had killed Dumbledore and Harry was chasing him.

I▓m going to go with Harry to find the Horcuxes of Voldamort. No one▓s going to stop me, either. I have to help Harry no matter what.

I haven▓t talked to Ginny since the day before Dumbledore▓s funeral. I only have on thing to say to her too. She better take care of him. She better love him with her whole heart. She has better look into his sparkling green eyes and know how completely lucky she is because he▓s the one person I can spill my heart to, the one who gives me all my dreams to tell to a shooting star, he▓s the one who gives me hope, he▓s the one who I love.

- Luna Lovegood 


End file.
